I couldn’t wait to get my license!!!
I dreamed of getting my license and getting behind the wheel of a car. I knew it would be something that would make me so happy! I daydreamed thinking about how much I would enjoy driving everywhere, and enjoyed giving rides to everyone who needed a ride! I just couldn’t wait to have that opportunity and license!
A few years went by and I didn’t feel that way anymore! I wanted to get from point A to point B as quickly as possible. I didn’t want to stop or go out of my way to pick up or drop off someone. I never understood why my parents, brothers and sisters were afraid to pick me up from friends’ houses or school events in the afternoon. Now I understand why they didn’t like doing it. My mom was different, she was always fine with having to pick me up and take me somewhere. She may not have enjoyed it, but she didn’t get upset when I needed a ride sometimes. I hope I can be like that when I become a parent. Parents should not make their children feel bad about having to go somewhere, they decided to have children and now it is their responsibility to support them in their childhood endeavors. However, there have been times when I have made my parents, siblings and parents wait for half an hour for me when they needed to pick me up. There were people in my family who were very angry with me for this! And I can understand why.
I was in the honeymoon phase of driving, but I wasn’t able to drive anyone for quite some time yet.
As soon as I got my license, I was thrilled that I would no longer have to rely on my family to drive me anywhere. However, over time, my attitude has completely changed. I went from loving driving and enjoying it, to not wanting to drive people or take long trips. Long trips seemed to weigh heavy on my mind, as did going out of my way to give others a ride.
I started noticing this in my mid to late college years. I noticed how my perspective on it changed. I can speculate as to why this happened, but why go into analytical paralysis if I’d rather think about how to change it instead?
As I got older, I noticed that I didn’t enjoy going out and doing things as much as I used to when I was younger. I was ready to go out all the time and stay out late. I was having so much fun until my senior year of college came around and I felt like a completely different person. It was really sad.
Now I’m on a journey to get out of my social comfort zone and become normal, to get out of the house and do things at night, go out and socialize with friends. I feel like I cut myself off from society after I graduated college when COVID happened. I also do this because I don’t want to scare my kids or make them feel miserable when they ask for a ride home or to go somewhere.”
No key will unlock a lifetime of happiness, only an artificial boost of excitement for a while.
Like buying a new car, for example. It wouldn’t change my life or make me happy for life, but I could really use a new car. At the time, I was very worried that my current car might break down. I was very worried about what I was going to do and had anxiety about it many times. In hindsight, I would have told my past self that I should drive this car into the ground because repairs would be much cheaper than buying a new car. But back then I was naive and didn’t realize it. I was overshadowed by the excitement of buying a new car and the fear that something bad could happen to my car, which makes sense!
It doesn’t just happen in one area of life. It happens in many different areas of life. For example, you graduate high school and you think you’ll be so happy because you won’t have to do any more studying, but we know that’s not the case. Yes, reducing stressors can make life easier, but we still find ways to be overwhelmed by what life presents us with in abundance.
P.S. Happy Halloween from the fall Grinch! Hehehe.